The Writer's Room
by Rhoder
Summary: Sissy Darrows is a humble and mild-mannered novelist, content to spend her days stress-free and outside of the limelight. When she is nominated for Gotham's most prestigious writing award, she draws the attention of the Joker, who is determined to make her write his biography. [This isn't a romance. It's just an OC interacting with canon characters.]
1. Ch 1: Coffee and Books

**Chapter 1: Coffee and Books**

* * *

Sissy took in a deep breath and let the smell of pine needles and freshwater drift into her nostrils. The soft cooing of the pigeons, the sharp quacks of the ducks, and the trickle of the pond water calmed her like nothing else in Gotham could. Robinson Park was the only place in the bleak city that radiated such beauty and peace, literally Elysium in the midst of Hell.

"Is this really what you do with your free time, Sissy?" Kate asked, arms resting on the back of the park bench.

"Yeah." Sissy reached into the plastic bag and threw some bread crumbs into the pond. A flock of ducks paddled over and dipped their beaks in and out of the water. Sissy handed the bag to Kate. "Try it."

Kate looked at the bag with some indecision, then shrugged. Instead of throwing the crumbs into the pond, she tossed some onto the ground in front of her. Instantly a flock of pigeons descended from the sky, forming a feeding frenzy and peppering the ground with white droppings.

Kate stood up from the bench in disgust. "Yuck!"

All Sissy could do was laugh. "That's why I prefer feeding the ducks."

"Ugh." Kate grimaced, trying to shake some bird poop off the toe of her boot. "Why don't we leave the birds alone and do something else?"

Kate led Sissy to the ice cream cart. Though Sissy wasn't really hungry, she decided to appease her friend and have a waffle cone. At a nearby picnic table, they ate their ice cream in silence and watched the park goers. A couple were having a picnic under a tree, some old men played chess by the tables, and a boy and his father sailed RC boats in the pond. Being mid-day on a Tuesday, there weren't many people in the park.

Sissy noticed Kate fidgeting with her napkin once her ice cream was done. "You're bored, aren't you?"

Kate tried to keep a straight face, but she cracked a guilty smile. "Does it show? I'm sorry, Sissy. I guess this is all a writer thing I know nothing about."

"Yeah, people-watching isn't for everybody. Looking at strangers, wondering who they are, what their lives are like, how they got here, where they're going... It helps me come up with interesting stories."

"So you'd rather watch people than actually talk to them?" Kate shrugged. "I dunno, I'm not much for speculation. Blame it on my upbringing. Both my parents worked in military intelligence. I like knowing facts about people; knowing exactly how and why they tick. To me, the truth is always more interesting than the fiction." She paused for a beat. "I loved your books, though."

Sissy laughed. "You sound like my therapist, but I agree. I'm just no good at talking to people. I guess that's why I don't have many friends."

"Hey, you've got me, sweetie," Kate said and wrapped her arm around Sissy.

"Only because you're my neighbor."

"We've got more in common than that."

"If you say so," Sissy said with a shrug.

At first glance, Sissy thought she and Kate looked like unlikely friends. Kate was a tall and slender redhead, effortlessly beautiful despite her ghostly pale and heavily tattooed skin. Sissy was only average height with rich brown skin and black hair. When around model thin Kate, she was a little self-conscious about her weight, but was also proud of the voluptuous curves her stout figure allowed her. At Kate's insistence, Sissy accented her naturally black hair with red highlights. Sissy was particularly proud of the small tattoo of a rose on her cheek, which people often mistook for a mole or beauty mark. It was subtle and tasteful when compared to the many military-themed tattoos Kate had on her arms and back.

Sissy's phone chirped.

"Who is it?" Kate asked.

"Leo," Sissy said, reading the message. "He says he's got a surprise for me. Wants to meet at the café on 52nd and Robinson."

Kate gasped mockingly. "A _man_! You're more popular than you think!"

Sissy rolled her eyes. "Don't get your panties in a bunch, he's my agent! You've met him once already! Don't you remember?"

"Finally mixing work with pleasure, perhaps?" Kate playfully poked Sissy's side.

Sissy swatted Kate's hand away and stood up. "Okay, come meet him with me and you'll see it's all business between us."

They walked from the park to the café and ran into Leo by the street-side tables.

"Good to see you, Sis. How have you been?" Leo gave her a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek.

When they pulled apart, Sissy saw that Kate could barely contain the giddy smile on her face. Sissy gave her a quick look that said, _Quit it! —_ It didn't help that Leo greeted Kate with only a handshake and a "hi" even though they had met before.

Ignoring Kate, Sissy said to Leo, "I'm doing okay, especially knowing you have a surprise for me."

Leo chuckled, patting the small gift bag he was carrying. "Yeah, I bet. Have a seat. Coffee's on me."

"He's _hot_ ," Kate remarked when Leo was out of earshot.

"Aren't you supposed to be gay? Or is there something you're not telling me?" Sissy asked.

Kate rolled her eyes. "I mean _objectively_ , Sis. Relax."

To Kate's credit, Sissy had to admit Leo had a certain… lumberjack appeal, despite his sedentary career as a literary agent and editor. He was a tall and heavyset black man, with broad shoulders, muscled arms, a full beard, and a shaved head. Sissy had actually mistaken him for a bodyguard when they first met. She still suspected he might've been one in the past. You never knew in Gotham.

Leo came back to the table with their coffees, and Kate immediately said, "So, Leo. This surprise..."

He placed the bag on the table and pushed it toward Sissy. "Go ahead, open it."

Sissy shared an excited look with Kate. She pulled out some tissue paper… and a book.

An _old_ book. Very old. Sissy inspected the spine and gasped.

It read _Le Fantôme de l'Opéra._ "Oh my gosh, Leo, you didn't. You _didn't_! You fucking... Really!?"

"Yeah, I did," Leo said with a satisfied smirk.

"I—I can't... I can't…" Sissy stammered.

"She can't even," Kate finished. "Is this some book nerd thing I'm not privy to?"

Sissy held up the book carefully, up and away from the coffee cups, as if it were made of glass. "This is an early French edition of _The Phantom of the Opera_."

Kate chuckled knowingly, amused. "Rare as fuck, I'm guessing?"

Sissy scoffed. "Katie, you have no idea. _No_ fucking idea." She looked at Leo. "This must've cost you a fortune!"

"Not really," Leo said, "Just a few trades from my own collection. But hey, that's not all. Check inside."

Sissy did so and discovered a card, ornate with embossed lettering and sparkling trim. Sissy read it aloud. " _Sissy Darrows, you have been nominated by a committee of your peers to receive the Martha Wayne Prize for Fiction, in recognition of your work_ Dancing into the Night."

Sissy went bug-eyed.

"Holy crap," Kate said. "You don't have to be a book nerd to know what that means."

"Is this a joke, Leo?" Sissy asked. "Are you serious right now? If you're playing me, I will kill you. I will literally _kill_ you. This isn't funny!"

"No, it's not a joke, but it's only a nomination. Don't get ahead of yourself." Despite that, it seemed like he was loving every second of Sissy's reaction.

"Even just getting nominated for that award is a pretty big deal," Kate said, taking the card. "When do we find out if she's won?"

"There's a ceremony a few weeks from now at Gotham University."

"Oh, a ceremony! Black-tie formal, I'm guessing?" Kate asked. Leo nodded, then Kate looked at Sissy with a devilish grin. "That means we'll have to go shopping for a dress."

Sissy seemed to deflate. She groaned, face in her palm. She wasn't a dress type of girl. She wasn't even a party type of girl.

Kate flipped the card over. "The card says plus one. Who are you taking?" Kate subtly gestured at Leo with her eyes.

"Why don't you take Kate?" Leo offered. "I've got my own invitation."

"Really? I can come? Awesome!"

"Well, I guess it would be nice to have the support of a friend," Sissy said. "It could be fun." Leo and Kate had no idea how happy she was that they could both come; she was not good with crowds and strangers, and needed familiar people to fall back on. Half the reason she became a novelist was because being an introvert and recluse was not only okay, but almost expected.

Leo clapped his hands, satisfied. "Really glad you can come, Kate. Maybe I can bring Maggie as my plus one for you? Have Sissy's entourage all there?"

Kate scoffed. "I'd say go ahead, but I can already tell you Mags will flake on us because of work. The GCPD never sleeps."

"Well, at least we finally get to see Sissy in a dress."

"Oh, god..." Sissy groaned.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

I wrote this as part of a little art trade with my dear friend Tarnisis featuring her OC Sissy Darrows. Once Tarnisis left Sissy and her idea in my hands... the concept grew wings and turned into this multi-part affair. Yes, that's right, I said multiple parts. Possibly 9 in total. Commissions have a tendency to lengthen themselves with me... I call myself the ambiguously brown amanuensis for a reason, people. I just couldn't help myself! What with Deadpool coming to Blu-Ray, Free Comic Book Day on May 7th, a massive Memorial Day Sale at my local comic book store (May 30th, 30% off everything!), plus my local Comic Con happening soon (June 17-19)... I'm totally binging on comics at the moment.

And for you die-hard fans, I can confirm that Sissy's friend Kate is in fact none other than Kate Kane, aka Batwoman. In my little independent fan-created continuity, she's a little more alt and butch than her mainstream portrayal, because why not? Makes more sense that DC's flagship _lesbian_ superhero with a _military_ background is a tomboy anyway.

Disclaimer: I do not own or have proper license to use Kate Kane, Batwoman, Maggie Sawyer, The Joker, Martha Wayne, Gotham, or any related concepts. This is a FAN-MADE tribute. Please support the officially licensed media. All rights are reserved by DC Comics and the respective creators.

Copyright: Sissy Darrows and Dancing into the Night belongs to Tarnisis, Leo Richardson belongs to Rhoder.


	2. Ch 2: Whiskey Sour

**Chapter 2: Whiskey Sour**

* * *

The banquet was extravagant—cloth-covered tables, a catered buffet, a fully-stocked bar, waitstaff circulating with champagne and hors d'oeuvres, a dance floor, even an ice sculpture. A projected portrait of Martha Wayne with a subtle Mona Lisa smile nearly took up the whole wall behind the stage, a reminder to everyone that she was Gotham's greatest patron of literature. It was breathtaking when Sissy had first walked in. The last time she had been to a party even remotely this nice extravagant was a book launch for one of Leo's other writers, but that of course paled in comparison to this—like comparing the rose bush she and Kate kept on her building's rooftop greenhouse to the grandeur of Gotham's Botanical Garden.

Even still, in light of the ornate décor, Sissy couldn't help but sigh listlessly.

"What's wrong?" Leo asked.

"I can't believe she bailed!" Sissy groaned, making her way to the bar. If she was going to be a wallflower, she'd at least have a seat—her heels were already killing her feet. "She promised! After all the trouble we went through to get this dress!"

"Hey, that wasn't on her. It was only trouble because _you_ hate dresses," Leo said, taking a seat next to her. "Plus, she said it was a family emergency. Her cousin Bette needs her more than you do right now. You've got this."

"I got this?"

"You got this," Leo assured her, looking into her eyes. "Plus you look lovely tonight. The most photogenic I've ever seen you."

Sissy looked down at herself. In her own opinion, the wrap dress that Kate had picked wasn't _all_ bad. It wasn't too revealing; decent and modest enough for her standards, at least. Her only problem was that the bright red color was a little too eye-catching.

"What's Kate's deal with red?" she asked. A lot of what Kate owned was either red or had red accents, from her car to her shoes to her cell phone case-even some of her tattoos were done in red ink.

Leo shrugged. "Why are you asking me? She's more your friend than mine."

She was actually jealous of Leo's attire, a standard tuxedo but with a grey shirt instead of the usual white. If Sissy had had her way, she would have worn her trusty pantsuit and flats. " _Take it from a lesbian_ ," Kate had said. " _Don't wear a pantsuit to this shindig, trust me._ "

"Ugh," she groaned, admitting Kate had been right. Every woman in the room, young and old, was in a dress. She turned to Leo. "Look, I really appreciate that you submitted my story for the award, Leo-and don't get me wrong, it's an immense honor-but… you know how I am with parties, especially when they're this big."

But Leo wasn't paying attention, he was enraptured by the small glass placed in front of him by the bartender.

 _Has he even been listening to me?_ Sissy wondered. _When did he have time to order a drink?_

Leo took a sip and cracked a satisfied smile. Sissy instantly knew what it was.

Leo loved Johnnie Walker, a premium-brand whisky from who knows where. Add the fact that it was an open bar and she was sure Leo was in Heaven and didn't give the smallest crap about her discomfort.

"Why don't you have a drink?" he asked. "What would you like?"

Looking at the wine menu the sommelier had handed her, Sissy was tempted, but said, "In the off chance I actually get that award, I don't want to be sloppy in front of everyone when I make my speech." That was her subtle hint to Leo that he should take it easy on the alcohol himself. Judging by how his tumbler was already empty, he may not have understood.

"Shouldn't be a problem if you're responsible, which I know you are. Come on. Could help to calm your nerves." Leo grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and placed it in front of her.

"No, but thanks." Sissy pushed the drink away. "A Diet Coke will do," she told the bartender.

Leo raised his tumbler at someone across the room. "And so it begins. Come on."

"Come on where?"

"We gotta do some networking. Publishing execs, critics, professors. You know the drill."

"I'm fine, you go ahead. I'll be here."

"You're not gonna mope here at the bar all night, come on," Leo insisted. "If Kate were here, she would tell you to lighten up and have fun."

"Leo, if you keeping pushing me, I'm going to leave," Sissy finally said. Helping Leo kiss the asses of Gotham's literati was not her idea of fun. She'd rather be at home reading _The Phantom of the Opera_.

Leo sighed, exasperated. "Fine. But at least _pretend_ like you're enjoying yourself." He reached over and gently lifted her chin.

He held her gaze and Sissy's heartbeat instantly quickened. This close, she could smell the whiskey on his breath, but at the moment she didn't care. Kate's voice echoed through her head, " _Finally mixing work with pleasure, perhaps?"_

"Smile..." Leo said and pinched her chin.

Sissy felt her lip quiver. Was this it?

"It's good for PR." Leo then took his drink and walked away.

Sissy scoffed as her spirits sank, the moment not only gone, but false. She had forgotten that Leo was her agent first and her friend second; whatever else beyond that was implausible. She was almost tempted to have a drink after all. Almost.

"Can I get a glass of that champagne that's going around? It's divine," someone said.

Sissy turned to see who had spoken. A woman with strawberry blonde hair took a seat at the bar. She was striking, wearing an understated but beautiful black dress. Sissy was instantly jealous. Why hadn't Kate picked a black one for her?

"Ah, yes, thank you," the woman said, taking a savory sip of the flute placed in front of her. "Can't expect anything less at a Wayne function, am I right?"

After a second, Sissy realized the woman was talking to her. "Sorry?"

The woman continued. "It's a shame Bruce Wayne himself isn't here tonight. Paparazzi put him in the Swiss Alps with a gaggle of Czech models, which is odd because he usually doesn't miss this. It's in his mother's name after all, plus he told me once in an interview he enjoys literature more than any other medium of entertainment."

"Um… right," Sissy said awkwardly. Whoever this woman was, it was apparent she had already had enough of the champagne.

"Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself," the woman said. She moved to the seat next to Sissy and held out her hand. "Vicki Vale, _Gotham Gazette._ "

Sissy shook her hand. "Sissy Darrows. Nice to meet you."

Vicki's face dawned with recognition; a smile broke across her perfect lips. "Sissy Darrows? Aren't you the debutante in the running for the Fiction Prize?"

Sissy wouldn't really consider herself a debutante anymore. Not even a year ago she had published a sophomore novel called _Born Again_... though it wasn't as popular as _Dancing into the Night_ —yet, according to Leo.

"Yeah, that's me," Sissy conceded.

"Oh, I'm such a fan!" Vicki said excitedly. "Your take on Dracula was so refreshing! Turning such a despicable villain into a classic gentleman, and a heartthrob at that! You wrote the character as if you knew him personally! Who was your muse? I have to confess I read a chapter every night before bed. The critics say you might be responsible for a resurgence of the Gothic Romance genre, any comment on that? And what are you currently working on, if you don't mind me asking? Sequel maybe?" Vicki looked at her expectantly, primed to listen.

Sissy was immediately put off ease by the attention, she hadn't expected to have deal with the press tonight—which she didn't enjoy doing at all, even under less formal circumstances. She looked around for Leo but he was nowhere to be seen. "Um… I'm not really giving interviews right now. You can set something up with my agent if you need to."

Vicki looked taken aback. "Oh, was I grilling you? I'm sorry, it's hard to turn off 'reporter mode' sometimes," she said with a chuckle. "I'm actually here for the same reason you are."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've been nominated for a Martha Wayne Prize, too. In Journalism," Vicki said proudly, as if she had already won the award.

"For which piece of work?" Sissy asked; she had long ago learned that diverting attention away from herself was as easy as making other people talk about themselves, and because of that she had always been a good listener. Most people's lives were more interesting than her own anyway.

"I wrote an exposé and extensive profile on the Bat Family a while back. Compiled some legacy police reports and archived news articles about the Bats and posed a few evidenced-backed theories as to who they could be and what their initial motivations were."

"Wow, that's impressive," Sissy said, and meant it. She was an unabashed supporter of Batman and his allies.

"Thank you," Vicki said, taking a sip of her drink. "I think I have this prize in the bag. Lois Lane doesn't stand a chance."

"Oh, for that article on Muslim refugees in the Middle-East? I read that," Sissy said, recalling. "It was harrowing."

Vicki scoffed. "Qurac is a mess, that's not news! Not _new_ news, anyway. Everyone and their mother are writing about that! So derivative." She downed the rest of her champagne and started on a fresh glass.

Sissy frowned. That comment was a little unfair. "Lois Lane went into a literal _warzone_ for an inside source and primary footage. You have to give her credit for that."

"Nearly getting her head shot off in Qurac— _hic!_ " Vicki had hiccupped loudly. "I'm sorry, excuse me—Nearly getting shot doesn't merit the Martha Wayne Prize, _especially_ when the article rehashed common public knowledge and didn't cover breaking developments. She told us everything we already know: the government is corrupt to the core, and the rebels are using terror to send a message."

"She risked her life to get an angle other writers were too afraid to get."

"Ha— _hic_!" Vicki's laugh turned into another hiccup, but she ignored it this time. "How is it risky when Superman follows her around like a dog on a leash? Everywhere she goes, he's— _hic_ —there. She pisses Luthor off, he's got her back. Gets in too deep with the mob, he pulls her out." Vicki leaned in close to whisper. "I'm willing to bet she's fu— _hic_ —cking ol' Superpants. Why else would he go out of his way to save her? Poor— _hic_ —Clark. How could she do that to him?"

"Um…" Sissy had had enough. She wasn't a fan of drinkers, especially ones that bad-mouthed other people behind their backs. She looked around again for Leo; she found him this time, talking to her editor. Hopefully he wasn't as drunk as Vicki; they hadn't been at the party for very long. "Listen, I gotta go find my—"

"I'll tell you what's news, though. _Hic!_ Batman in Kasnia right now."

Sissy had already slid off her seat, but she didn't walk away. "What? Now?"

"Yeah, Batman and Batwoman are in Kasnia as we speak. Trying to foil Deathstroke and his— _hic_ —mercenaries aiding a government coup."

"I thought the whole point of Batman Incorporated was so Batman wouldn't have to leave Gotham."

Vicki shrugged. "I dunno, maybe it's— _hic_ —personal. But you mark my words, I'll— _hic_ —find— _hic_ —out." Vicki cleared her throat and let out a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry, these— _hic_ —hiccups are out of control!"

"Bartender? Water, please?" Sissy asked. Being honest with herself, she was more interested in hearing about Batman more clearly than she was about relieving Vicki's uncomfortable hiccups.

Vicki took a large gulp of water as soon as the bottle was placed in front of her. "Mmm, that's much better."

"So what were you saying about Batman?"

"Right, Kasnia. Apparently it's not just Batman Inc. out there, but Red Hood and the Outlaws, too. _Hic_! Damn it! _Hic_! They— _hic_ —won't— _hic_ —stop! _Hic_!"

At that moment, Vicki started a hiccupping fit that wouldn't subside, each hitting her so hard it shook her whole body. "Sorry... _hic_! Oh my— _hic_! Wow!"

A passing couple broke out in contemptuous laughter, pointing at Vicki, haughty and unashamed.

Utterly appalled, Sissy got up and patted Vicki's back, hoping to sooth her. "Are you alright, Vicki? Let's get you to the restroom."

"No, haha— _hic_ —it's alright. Heheheh... It is pretty funny actually! Haha woo! _Hic!_ Another one! HA!"

Sissy noticed a chorus of laughter began to rise around them; several people in throughout the ballroom were laughing—disturbing because some were nowhere near Vicki or aware of her hiccupping fit.

"That's odd..." Sissy turned her attention back to Vicki and gasped. "Vicki, your nose!"

"What? _Hic!_ Have I got something on it?" Still giggling and hiccuping, she touched her nose—wiping away a bright red smear from her bleeding nostril. "Oh my god! Blood! Hahaha! _Hic!_ Hehe, what!? That's not good! Haha!"

To Sissy's dismay, that sent Vicki over the top and she doubled over in hysterical laughter—totally unconcerned that her nose was dripping like a faucet and her hiccups had elevated to legitimate convulsions.

" _Aaaaah!_ " A screamed broke throughout the room, but it was drowned by responding laughter. Everywhere, people giggled, laughed, then doubled over—hiccupping. Some had even progressed to nosebleeds like Vicki and that only set them into further hysteria.

Across the room, Sissy caught Leo's eyes. He was unaffected, but was just as concerned as she was. " _What the heck is going on?_ " Sissy mouthed to him.

Leo put down his drink. "Sissy!" he called out, running toward her. "We gotta get out—"

Speaker feedback pierced the air.

 _"—ello? Is—ing on?"_ Booming thumps exploded from the speakers. _"Mic check? Check!"_ The speaker squealed with high-pitched laughter. _"Ah, there we go! Ladies and gentlemen, your attention to the stage, please!"_

Ears ringing, Sissy looked toward the stage, but there was no one there. However, the portrait of Martha Wayne projected on the wall flickered.

 _"Oh, no. Tsk, tsk. Why so serious, Martha?"_ groaned the voice over the PA. _"It's your party! SMILE!"_

The portrait of the stoic and beautiful Martha Wayne melted, molding into a roughly photo-shopped version with a huge and ghastly grin, her lips smeared red and her teeth rotten yellow.

A jolt of terror struck Sissy as the crowd erupted with laughter and screams. There could be no mistake—the Joker was here.

 _"Ah, hahaha! Hee-hee! Ol' Martha's never looked better! Am I right, Gotham? Ha! Heheheh... Heh. Heh."_ The Joker's harsh squeal dropped to a throaty chuckle, rumbling with menace and shaking the very floor Sissy was standing on.

The Joker cleared his throat. _"Let's get this party started."_

"Get down!" Leo cried, finally reaching Sissy.

Gunfire barked throughout the room.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

Lol! How'd you guys like that one? I'm sorry that Kate's gone and that the Joker hasn't been _entirely_ introduced yet, but I really wanted some time to characterize Sissy without a gratuitous infodump; to _show_ you who she is, not tell you. In addition, I really wanted to build up to the Joker's entrance, really make it tense and sinister and within canon plausibility.

I'm actually pretty nervous about the next few chapters because the Joker appears in them all until the end of the story, and this is the first time I've ever written such an unhinged manic-psychotic character. Yeah, this is going to be a great writing exercise. For this story I'm trying to make an amalgamation of different Joker potrayals throughout Batman media, most prominent being Mark Hamill's look and humour (Animated Series, Arkham series) with the comic's signature genius, menace, and depravity.

I'm also sorry to say that the next chapter won't be up for a while. I'm working on Chapter 2 of my Red Hood fan fic because I'm going to leapfrog updates between this story and that one. After Ch 2 of the Red Hood story, I'm going back to The Hunter to polish up Part One for posting... _THEN_ I'll write up Ch 3 of this Joker story.

Disclaimer: I do not own or have proper license to use Kate Kane, Martha Wayne, Vicki Vale, Lois Lane, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Batwoman, Superman, the Joker, Gotham, Qurac, Markovia or any related concepts. This is a FAN-MADE tribute. Please support the officially licensed media. All rights are reserved by DC Comics and the respective creators.

Copyright: Sissy Darrows and Born Again belongs to Tarnisis, Leo Richardson belongs to Rhoder.


	3. Ch 3: Party Crashers

**Chapter 3:  
Party Crashers**

* * *

 _Blam! Blam! Blam!_

Gunshots filled the air, reverberating throughout the ballroom, accompanied by panicked screams.

Before Sissy could even tell where the shots were coming from, Leo grabbed her and literally _threw_ her over the bar. She rolled off the counter and hit the floor hard. Over 200 pounds and six feet of her agent landed on top of her.

"Keep your head down!" Leo shouted through the cacophony, putting Sissy in a protective headlock. By the way Leo was holding her, Sissy wasn't sure if he was trying to save her life, or suffocate her to death. She was sure, now more than ever, that Leo was a bodyguard in his past, or in the military, or _something._

Through the din, something occurred to Sissy-Vicki.

Vicki Vale was still on the other side of the bar, totally exposed to the gunfire.

"Get off of me, Leo!" Sissy cried, trying to shove him off. "Vicki! We have to help her!" Sissy wasn't sure he could hear her; Leo's chest muffled her voice and guns were still firing everywhere overhead. "Don't worry about me! Help her!"

"Who?" Leo finally loosened his hold on Sissy enough for her to squirm away.

"Vicki!" Sissy shouted, scrambling to the end of the bar. She peered around the corner and spotted Vicki, who was rolling around on the floor, clutching her sides and laughing hysterically in spite of the bullet storm raging over her head.

Sissy crawled out from the bar and moved across the exposed bar floor. She made a grab for Vicki but in trying to keep her head low, she couldn't reach far enough. She was about to stand up when she saw Leo bear-crawl across the floor to Vicki-with surprising deftness. He grabbed her by the strap of her dress and dragged her back behind the bar.

"Oh my! Hahaha!" Vicki squealed, all giddy. "Naughty boy! If you want to get me out of this dress, you have to buy me a drink first!"

"What the heck is wrong with these people?" Leo said, looking at Vicki-hiccuping, laughing, and bleeding from her nose.

"You've never heard of Joker toxin? The Joker must've spiked the drinks!" Sissy said.

"Then why aren't we affected?"

"I don't know!" She just considered herself lucky.

Then, as sudden as it began, the gunfire stopped.

Sissy's ears continued ringing as the other guests kept screaming and the Joker kept laughing.

Was it over? Had the Joker, his men, the cops, or _whoever_ was shooting, run out of ammo? How many people had died already?

Had the Joker been defeated? Were they safe?

 _"Ah-hahaha!"_ The Joker cackled over the PA, this particular breath of laughter piercing every ear in the room.

Leo shouldered Sissy's arm and pointed at the mirror hanging behind the bar. Through it, Sissy saw the Joker's image projected on the screen behind the stage, where Martha Wayne's portrait had just been.

The Joker, in all of his menacing glory, looked back at them, live. He held a microphone up to his ghastly red-lipped, yellow-toothed grin. _"Heheheh..."_

Through the mirror, Sissy could see the frightened people huddled at the ballroom's exits actually take pause. They stepped away from the doors-locked and sealed as far as Sissy could tell-and turned to face the screen above the stage.

With everyone's attention on the screen, the Joker held up a smartphone close to the microphone. He tapped the device and gunfire blasted through the speakers-exactly the gunfire that everyone had just endured. Sissy even began to recognize a patterned loop.

 _"Got ya, Gotham! HA-HAHAHA! Ah, heeheehee!"_ the Joker cackled. His mirth was echoed throughout the room in people affected by his toxin, but the sober people just stood there, stunned.

Vicki, especially, was laughing so hard she could hardly breathe. "Oh my god, that was great! He got us! He _sooo_ got us! I thought I was gonna die! What?! Hahaha!"

"Quiet!" Leo said, clapping his hand over Vicki's mouth.

Hearing Vicki's laughter, which was only a part of a chorus of others affected by the venom, the Joker said, _"Thank you, thank you. I love you, too. I'll be here all week."_ He backed away from the camera until his whole body was in the frame, then bowed with a flourish.

Sissy couldn't make out what or who was in the background. The Joker was wearing his usual attire: a purple suit tailored perfectly to his slim form, a green vest and orange shirt, and black/white wingtip shoes. His long, neon green hair was combed back, with a stray lock of hair falling over his forehead... Without his clown-face-his starch-white skin and blood-red lips-Sissy would've considered him dapper.

 _"But in all seriousness, Gotham,"_ the Joker said. He spun on his heels, pulled out a pistol from somewhere, and pointed it at the camera. _"Get the fuck down or I'll kill you. Okay?_ Okay _."_

The Joker cocked the hammer and pulled the trigger... confetti exploded from the end of the barrel, along with a little flag that read _"Bang!_ " He shrieked with laughter.

The crowd immediately ignored him and resumed their panic, crowding around the exits and pounding on the doors. Sissy briefly wondered if they had the right idea-taking cover behind this bar with Leo... she was just a sitting duck this way.

She made a move to stand up, but felt Leo's hand on her shoulder.

"Stay down, Sis, please," he urged her, as much with his eyes as his voice.

Sissy nodded and sat.

 _"Aw,"_ the Joker groaned in a tone of disappointment. _"See, this is my curse. The downside of being so damn funny all the time is that people never know when to take you seriously. Wait a moment..."_ The Joker disappeared from the screen.

"HEY!" someone shouted. "Hey! Look at me!"

Sissy couldn't see who was shouting through the mirror behind the bar, so she peeked over the counter. Leo tried to stop her but she shrugged him off.

The Joker himself had walked on-stage, in the flesh. A woman in clown make-up followed him...

... but it wasn't Harley Quinn like Sissy had expected.

This woman had a totally different get-up. She appeared to be a melancholy French mime in contrast to Harley's giddy court jester. She wore white face paint, heavy black eyeshadow with drawn tears rolling down her cheeks. Her nose and lips were also painted black. Even her hair was black. From a distance, Sissy thought she looked more like a skull or the Grim Reaper than a clown or mime.

"Hey!" The Joker waved his arms, trying to get the crowd's attention.

 _"I SAID LOOK AT ME!"_ The Joker roared into the microphone, his normal high-pitched shriek transforming into a baritone growl that shook every object in the ballroom. He tossed aside his prank gun and pulled out another. He aimed it at the panicked crowd swarmed around the door. "Oh, so you wanna do this the hard way, huh? Fine!"

The Joker pulled the trigger and two shots fired. Two _real_ shots _._

Two people crumpled to the ground. The crowd let loose an uproar of screams and dispersed from the door, trampling over the fallen. They spread themselves throughout the room, hiding being tables, the buffet, some even slid into cover behind the bar with Leo, Sissy, and Vicki. Only a few remained to tend the people the Joker had shot.

"Boys," the Joker shouted, blowing on the smoke from his gun's barrel. "Put on your game faces. Settle the crowd."

At the other end of the bar, Sissy saw a man stand up. He had been so quiet and still, Sissy hadn't noticed that he was even there. He was wearing the waitstaff's uniform: black shirt, white vest... then he pulled out something from his pocket and put it on his face.

A latex clown mask.

He then drew a gun as well, cocked it and pointed it right at Sissy.

"Don't move a muscle," the man said to everyone behind the bar, his voice muffled.

"Aaahhh!"

 _Pow!_

It was an old woman next to Sissy that had screamed...

... but it was not the masked man who had fired. The clown's head suddenly emitted a red mist and he fell to the floor. His blood and brains were splattered onto the wall behind him.

If Sissy hadn't been fighting the urge to vomit, she would've screamed.

Vicki was hysterical, giggling so hard she could barely breathe. "Oh my god, did you see that, guys? Pfffhaha! Ha! _Hic!_ _Hic!_ Ha... ha... _Hic!_ Unh..." And with that final chuckle Vicki fainted.

Sissy crawled over to her. "Vicki! Are you alright? Wake up!" She slapped her softly a few times, but Vicki wouldn't stir.

"Quiet!" said one of the people with them behind the bar. "You'll let them know we're here!"

"Look!" Leo said, pointing at the bar mirror.

Sissy saw that the ballroom had erupted into a gunfight again... however, this time it was real. She could see the muzzle-flashes and smell the gunsmoke. She was equal parts relieved and distressed-security guards had somehow appeared from nowhere and were trading bullets with a gang of clowns who had _also_ appeared from nowhere.

Both sides took cover behind overturned tables-all that was available on the ballroom floor... which was now a battlefield. Blood stained the tablecloths and carpet. People screamed.

A man spat on the ground in frustration. "Where were the rent-a-cops five minutes ago when we needed them? For fuck's sake, do your goddamn jobs!"

Sissy didn't want to say it outloud, but she figured that since the Joker had only been on the projector, he wasn't yet a threat and they were busy trying to unlock the exits. Now, however, they were concentrating on the more immediate danger.

But it was futile. The tables the guards and thugs were using for cover might as well have been made out of paper. The Joker's thugs had submachine guns and assault rifles while the guards had only pistols and tasers.

A woman behind the bar said, "Hey, look on stage!"

Sissy saw that two brave guards had decided to take on the Joker himself.

The guards never reached him because the mime woman somersaulted into their way. She landed with a sweep kick that knocked one guard off his feet. The other guard took a punch to the gut. He doubled over, winded. The mime wrapped her arm around his neck, tightened her grip... and twisted.

The microphone on the podium must've been on, because Sissy could hear the man's neck break through the speakers of the PA-the sharp snap cut through the gunfire.

The first guard got back on his feet, drew his gun, but he didn't get a chance to fire. The mime girl stepped toward him and pulled some brutal Krav Maga move: she punched him once, twice, then grabbed his arm and bent the elbow the wrong way. The gun fell out of his hands and into hers. She spun away from him and shot him in the groin.

The man yelped in agony and dropped to his knees. The mime girl then shot him again-in the face.

The guard fell to the floor, dead and silent.

"Oh ho ho! Excellent work, Binky! You've earned your dollar today!" the Joker squealed, applauding the mime. "Oh, but who do we have here?"

A third guard had come on stage, his gun aimed right at the Joker.

"Stand down or I will shoot!"

"Dammit!" Leo cursed. "What an idiot! He should've shot him already! What's he waiting for?"

The Joker raised his gloved hands, yet he was still smiling. "Really, you think you've got me?" he said.

"I said stand down! Surrender!" the guard yelled again, aiming now at Binky who hadn't bothered to drop her weapon or raise her hands.

"Oh, you're one of those guys, aren't ya?" the Joker said. "Gotta do things by the book... or else have it thrown at ya, heheh...right?"

The guard seemed shaken. One look at him and the Joker had figured him out.

"Oh, you don't think that's funny? Well, I guess it's not just you, unfortunately." The Joker put a hand up to his ear. "Listen, boy, do you hear that?"

The guard kept his eyes and his gun trained on the Joker, but he did take a pause. "What? I don't hear anything."

The ballroom was silent again. The gunfight was over.

"Can't you hear the crickets?," the Joker whispered, all giddy, trying to contain his hysteria. "Listen closer."

And that's when Sissy heard it. It wasn't the chirp of crickets. It was the snaps and clatter of guns being reloaded, bullets being chambered, and hammers being cocked.

All around the room, the Joker's surviving thugs were standing. Some walked around and took the pistols from the defeated (dead or dying) guards.

It dawned on Sissy just as it did for the guard onstage. They had lost. The Joker had won. He was making a final stand alone.

The guard dropped his gun and raised his hands in surrender. "This isn't over, Joker. Batman will save us. He'll find a way."

The Joker laughed. "Hmm... Will he now? Haha, I like you, kid. You've got... I dunno, moxy. Spirit. Spunk. What do you say we make a deal?"

"What kind of deal?"

The Joker walked toward him. "You seem like a spry young lad. Bet you were in the Army, weren't you?"

"Marines," the guard said, standing straighter.

"Oh, a jarhead. Good, good. Bet they taught you how to fight, am I right? Let's you and me duke out, fair and square. Good old fashioned fisticuffs. Do you think you can take me?"

The guard looked puzzled about the offer.

"If you knock me down on my ass, I'll let you and everyone here go free. How about it? What do you say? Do we have a deal?"

Sissy couldn't believe her ears. The Joker could not be serious about that offer.

"Okay..." the guard said.

"Let's shake on it. You kick my ass, everyone walks." the Joker said, holding out his hand.

 _Nooo!_ Sissy screamed in her head.

The guard took hold of the Joker's hand-his whole body locked up and stiffened. Sissy heard the tell-tale snaps of a taser.

The Joker broke out in laughter, and it was echoed by the some of the venom-affected people in the room.

"Binky! Can you believe it? The sap fell for it! Ahaha!" the Joker said, while still grasping the guard's hand. The poor man began to twitch and convulse.

The mime didn't say anything. She looked at him deadpan and gave him a silent golf clap.

The Joker finally relented on the taser hand-shake... and the guard crumpled to the ground, convulsing several times until he lay still. Sissy could only assume he was dead.

"Was that the last of them?" the Joker asked one of his thugs.

"Yeah, boss. The whole building is ours."

"Okay, let's get this show on the road," the Joker said, clapping his hands as if getting rid of dust. He walked over to the podium at the center of the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen of Gotham, good evening."

To Sissy's disbelief there was actually some applause. It took her a moment to realize it was coming from people poisoned by the Joker's venom.

"Thank you, thank you. Before the award ceremony begins, you'll notice my, erm... ushers coming around to collect donations. For the arts, of course. If you would all be so kind."

The Joker's thugs were now walking around the room, carrying duffel bags, and robbing people of their wallets, purses, and jewelry. Some people were beaten, either for not having anything valuable or simply looking at the thugs wrong. Sissy also noticed that more people were succumbing to the poison like Vicki had, fainting.

Then Sissy saw that some thugs were making their way to the bar.

Leo noticed too. "Shit, looks like our hiding spot won't be so hidden any longer."

"Oh my god, Leo... What are we going to do?" Sissy gasped.

Sweat dripped from Leo's brow as he looked around frantically. He tore off his jacket, undid his cuffs, and rolled up his sleeves. "Nothing to do now but lay low and hope the cops or the Bats get here in time to save us."

"Yeah, Batman will save us," someone said. "He's always kicking the Joker's ass."

"Batman's not here!" Sissy lamented, on the verge of panic.

"What?" Leo asked, and some people echoed.

"Batman's not in Gotham!" Sissy said, trembling with Vicki still in her arms. "Vicki told me that he's in Kasnia with Batwoman dealing with Deathstroke."

"You mean it's up to one of the Robins?" a man said, with a look of utter disappointment.

"Or the crazy bitch with a crossbow and a vendetta against anyone with a Y chromosome?" said another.

Leo took a moment to process all that, then finally said, "Well, I guess we have no choice."

"What do you mean?" Sissy asked.

Leo looked around the bar area. He grabbed a bottle of whisky off the bar shelf, and took a big swig. He offered the bottle to everyone. They all declined.

Tears came to Sissy's eyes and she lamented. She had never known what to think about Leo... Did he like her? Did she even like him back?

But was this where the roulette stopped? On a man who'd rather give up and drink away his final moments? "No, Leo... No." Sissy began to cry into her hands.

She then heard the bottle shatter. She looked up to see Leo holding the broken whisky bottle by the handle in one hand and an ice-pick in the other.

"Okay, Sis, it's life or death right now, and it doesn't look like we have a superhero to save our asses. If we're going to go down, we're going down swinging." Leo gave her the ice-pick. "It's time to woman up. The rest of you, too."

A few people behind the bar followed Leo's example, picking up broken bottles, glass shards, corkscrews, table knives-but most didn't, still too afraid.

"What are you doing?" a man next to Leo said. "Don't fight back and piss them off, you'll get us killed!"

"And who says they'll let us live after they've robbed us, huh?" Leo retorted. "You know how the Joker works."

Sissy looked down at kitchen utensil-turned-weapon in her hand.

 _Woman up._

If Kate was here, she would've told her exactly that. She had to be prepared to protect herself.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

Wow, it's been months since the last chapter of this story, and for that I apologize. If you're one of my loyal watchers, then you know why, but if not... don't worry about it. Just enjoy the story.

I really hope I did the Joker justice. I have to admit that I was very nervous going into writing this chapter because he's such an iconic character. For me the one that is most memorable is the Joker from the comic books, so that's really version I was trying to channel here. If you haven't read the comics (SHAME ON YOU, just kidding), then the most accurate adaption of the Joker, in my opinion, is the one in the _Batman: Arkham_ games. That's what I was going for, at least in terms of personality. Also worrisome was doing Sissy Darrows justice, since she's my friend Tarnisis's OC.

Oh, and Binky, the mime girl is my own OC. She's kind of an anti-Harley. I always thought that the Joker should have a straight man (who isn't Batman), so I thought her up. Hope you like her.

I'm very sorry to say that the next chapter won't be posted soon. Next on the docket is Chapter 3 of _One Bad Day_ , then Part 2 of _The Hunter_... and only then will I come back to this fic.

Also, special thanks to my beta reader Rhelna for catching all my mistakes and giving me feedback. Check out her profile and read some of her stuff.

Disclaimer: I do not own or have proper license to use Kate Kane, Martha Wayne, Vicki Vale, Lois Lane, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Batwoman, Superman, the Joker, Gotham, Qurac, Kasnia or any related concepts. This is a FAN-MADE tribute. Please support the officially licensed media. All rights are reserved by DC Comics and the respective creators.  
Copyright: Sissy Darrows belongs to Tarnisis, Leo Richardson and Binky belong to Rhoder.


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